


Trying Far Too Hard

by spinning_arrow



Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-17
Updated: 2014-02-17
Packaged: 2018-01-12 19:13:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1196325
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spinning_arrow/pseuds/spinning_arrow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone called him dumb and that was okay, for the most part.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trying Far Too Hard

Intelligence exists in a variety of forms. You can have naturalist intelligence, which has anything to do with nature, from dichotic leaves and large reptiles to the non living things like clouds and shit (no seriously, shit is included). Then there is musical intelligence, which is rather self explanatory; unless, of course, you lack basic linguistic intelligence--the ability to express and understand complex meaning of words. The logical-mathematical intelligence works well with the musical intelligence, and it is often believed that they share common thinking processes. Understandable when you observe the patterns and relationships that go into both music and math.

The next five types are not so self explanatory as their names sound more fanciful than the rest: existential, interpersonal, bodily-kinesthetic, intra-personal, and spatial. Existential intelligence is that of philosophers, people who ask the deep questions in life. Those who work with interpersonal intelligence work interact well with others, able to understand both the verbal and nonverbal types of communication. Importantly, this intelligence should not be mistaken with intra-personal intelligence, which is the ability to understand oneself and the ability to understand his or her own thoughts and emotions. People with bodily-kinesthetic intelligence have the capacity to manipulate objects (which completely sounds like a magical power, but is more boring in that it truly means that they are artists, able to use their tools to create what they wish) and have a good mind-body union. The last type of intelligence is the spatial intelligence, or the ability to think in three dimensions, a requirement for sailors, sculptors, and architects.

You could even go into wisdom and how it compares to intelligence, but then you would be looking into a long debate by different people, including some strongly opinionated Dungeons & Dragons players, and honestly, Gavin felt lucky that he could even begin to wrap his head around the nine types of intelligence. He didn't want to push his luck when it came to remaining sane. 

This of course, brought Gavin to his latest wondering; on if there truly were nine types or if everyone got too lazy defining the different types and stopped at nine. After all, he believed he had some kind of existential intelligence, but as everyone in the company loved to remind him, in a very stupid way. You only had to look at Google or Gavin to believe that. He could understand having some bodily-kinesthetic intelligence with the way he could work a camera, but at the same time, he could never brag about having any kind of mind-body union. Some of these thoughts led him to believe that he could have a whole new kind of intelligence: the dumb kind.

He honestly felt surprised that this kind never showed up on the list anyway, but he had a sinking suspicion that this had to do with the comparison of wisdom and intelligence, and after his first few attempts on reading up on the subject, decided he really didn't care to know the details, content with his own ideas about it.

Or at least, he thought he would be content. A week later and he still couldn't get the idea of intelligence out of his brain--and yes, he understood the humor behind that, thanks to Barbara's never ending puns--and decided to ask around.

He didn't realize the mistake until the words were out of his mouth. "Geoff, do you think I'm intelligent?"

Bound by an unexplainable law, Geoff would need to make fun Gavin for such a question. Gavin understood this, and often times used it to his advantage to crack some kind of joke, but he had no plans for that today. And to make matters worse, he didn't ask when he was at home, where it would just have been Geoff, maybe with Millie and Griffon around so that he could definitely get a somewhat kind response, but he asked this in the middle of a let's play, Minecraft no less, so he was much surer to make some kind of stupid mistake. There were snorts of laughter from all around. Gavin tried hard not to squawk in indignation.

"Yeah, of course buddy," Geoff said, snorting. The sarcasm was strong in this one.

Jack was beginning to make a comment when Gavin's character ran straight into a creeper, causing Gavin to yell in surprise, go into third person, and subsequently kill himself.

The briefest of pauses existed before everyone began laughing profusely.

"Gavin, you dumb piece of shit," Michael wheezed. "I can't even pretend that you're intelligent, you're so dumb."

"Michael!" Gavin said, turning to look at him with a slight pout.

"Micool!" Everyone else pitched in, still laughing.

He didn't win the Tower of Pimps that game.

.

Everyone forgot about the comment except Gavin, who continued to mull over the subject. He had always considered himself to be smart, he had to be. No one who was dumb could do all the things he had, like understanding the different types of cameras, editing videos, and how to do slowmo like he did, right? Maybe it took a special kind of dumb for him to be able to appear so smart, but actually be a complete idiot.

He decided to look over some of his older videos, such as some AHWUs, let's plays, and slowmo, something he never truly liked doing, but decided that this was important enough that he could deal with it. This turned out to be another mistake. Sure, over half the stuff he did in those were overdone, but they were still a reflection of himself, and he couldn't pretend that a lot of the clumsy moments were faked. Nor were some of the dumb comments.

Maybe he really was just an idiot. He couldn't even find a category within intelligent that fit him. He went back to wondering about dumb intelligence.

"Do you think there is such a thing as dumb intelligence?" This time he was smart enough to not say something like that while filming anything. Instead this was right before, but he still asked it around everyone else. And most everyone was drunk, so maybe not a smart move.

"Isn't that an oxymoron?" Ryan asked.

"No, wait, I think I understand you Vav. Wouldn't that have something to do with being wise verses being smart?" Ray put in.

This started a conversation Gavin had tried to avoid being a part of as everyone began arguing over the difference between the two. Someone made the dungeons and dragons comment and that started up a whole new line of debate. Gavin stopped paying attention.

The conversation somehow made its way into the next game they played, started by Michael. And the next one. Neither of them long, but just enough to start getting on Gavin's nerves. It was a constant reminder of what he now believed to be a stupid question. Not to mention they kept coming from a person he cared about so much. And by that he meant as his best friend. Obviously. He began to become hyperaware of each stupid comment he made and of everyone's comments and laughter that came after. Michael's always being the loudest.

Burnie asked him if they could do a Google or Gavin for the next podcast. Gavin declined.

.

It wasn't that he hated goofing off, because he loved it. And yeah, sometimes he would be called stupid for it and it wouldn't bother him. The only way he could describe it was being more sensitive to the word. He would make jokes and ask stupid questions and that would be okay. People laughed and called him an idiot or stupid and he would grin and laugh with them. However, if he did not expect someone to call him stupid for something, he would suddenly become quiet and try to act normal. Well, as normal as Gavin could be. After all, he was a goof, he knew that. Besides, he didn't want the rest of the crew to worry about him. Sure, Michael would look over at him strangely if he suddenly grew quiet and Geoff would ask what's up once in a while with his fatherly look, but Gavin thought he did a good job of shooing away any suspicion. Not that there was anything suspicious about him. He just needed to solve this intelligence thing that kept nagging at his mind.

Unfortunately for him, every time he couldn't understand the types of intelligence, the more infuriated he got. It just seemed to reinforce his idiocy. His intelligence never bothered him before either, increasing his frustration over how upset he would get over it. This shouldn't be a problem, but it wouldn't go away. So for weeks he would ponder over the idea and get increasingly frustrated and angry. Soon, he began to resent every time someone called him stupid. He tried to control it, but he ended up starting to snap at people every time they began to joke with him.

This increased his anger; not towards the rest of the RT crew, but towards himself. Deep down, he knew that he shouldn't be acting like this, that he was overreacting and he needed to move on, but nothing changed what he continued to think.

"Gavin! Can you hear me?"

Gavin sighed and looked over at Michael, reluctantly pulling himself out of his thoughts to focus on the person next to him. Michael had begun to say something to Gavin, and from the few words Gavin could hear, it was about an upcoming let's play, but Gavin instead focused on how Michael's short hair had started to grow out again, his curls beginning to show. Gavin missed the longer curls, though he wouldn't dare say anything out loud. This in between stage of his hair bothered him. Once again, not something he would tell Michael. For all of his stupidity, he knew better than to make such a girly comment to a guy who easily snapped into anger. Besides, with how easily Gavin had been to snap at people recently, he might just say something he would REALLY regret. Not that he ever admitted or said such things to himself, but with the way he had been acting, he couldn't begin to predict what he could and would say.

No, he did not want to go down this train of thought. He had done a good job forgetting about all of this before, he would not begin to think on it again now. The intelligence thoughts had become a lovely distraction from that as well. Especially with Michael's recent...singleness. Hmm, maybe he was getting somewhere with why he continued to think of this intelligence thing. In fact-

"Gavin, seriously, are you just acting extra stupid today?" Michael rolled his eyes. "I'm trying to talk to you."

Gavin took a deep breath, trying to control himself. Nope, he could not handle this. Not with all of his thoughts trying to attack him right now. He did not need Michael calling him stupid or dumb or whatever else today. It was too much.

"Sorry Michael, if you'll excuse me." Gavin stood up and walked out of the room. And if Michael gave the rest of the crew around them a worried look, he never got to see it.

.

So yeah, it was dumb that he began avoiding everyone, even he could admit to that. Even though he knew that it would not work out well and even though he knew this was going against what he had been trying to accomplish the whole time, he couldn't stop. It all just seemed so much easier to act this way.

And of course, everyone noticed and began to question him. He tried very hard not to snap at them, but the constant interrogations began to drive him insane, especially when it came to Michael. The guy was his best friend, so of course he was expected to share whatever bothered him, but he couldn't. Every time he tried to think of what to say, he would begin to go down a line of thoughts he could not handle, and quickly left the room.

"Gavin, want to go out for some drinks?" Geoff asked. Work had ended and everyone began gathering their stuff to leave.

Gavin knew that this would end in questions by Geoff, trying to figure out Gavin's problems, but Gavin decided that he didn't care at that moment. Drinks sounded like a lovely idea and he would be too drunk to really care anyway. Maybe he should talk. It had been a week since Gavin walked out on Michael and he didn't know how much longer he could stay away from his friends.

"Sounds top." Gavin said. He followed Geoff out the door and they discussed the different types of bars they could go to.

The bar held nothing special beyond it being one of their usual get together places. They sat in a corner and just drank in silence for a while, both refusing to acknowledge the strangeness of not having anyone else come along. That and the obvious elephant in the room. Eventually, Gavin knew the silence had to break and he began to grow impatient.

"So," he said, "I have a feeling that this is more than just for drinks."

"You wouldn't be wrong." Geoff said. He offered no further conversation though.

"I mean, you guys haven't stopped asking me questions all week." Gavin pressed.

"That is true." Geoff once again, refused to talk more. It began to eat at Gavin's nerves, but he refrained from continuing the conversation, instead taking another drink.

The silence continued, even after a few more drinks. Gavin began to feel the edge of being drunk and had to refrain from drinking anymore, afraid of having no self control over what he said. If last week was any indication for where his brain could go without being drunk, he did not want to see where it would go while intoxicated.

"If this is for more than drinks, why are you not saying anything?" Gavin finally asked, both his impatience and annoyance boiling over.

Geoff gave no response, just shrugged and took another drink.

Oh, now he understood. Geoff was acting passive aggressive about this. Well damn if he would follow along with Geoff's plan. No way would he play this game.

"You think that if you take me out here and just stay silent I'll just spill all of my troubles out, don't you?" Gavin glared at the older man. "Well you're wrong. I am quite capable of handling everything on my own."

Geoff gave him a pointed look.

"No seriously, maybe it takes me longer than others but I'm not stupid. I can figure it all out on my own."

"Stupid?" Geoff asked. "Who said that?"

"No one in particular and everyone we know," Gavin grumbled.

Later on, Geoff would insist that he made great efforts not to laugh at Gavin's words, but it did not matter, because try or not, he gave off a strangled snort, making Gavin even more upset.

"See?" Gavin waved his hands in an exaggerated display of frustration. "Every little thing I say or do is considered stupid or dumb. No one will say that they think it beyond just to be silly but I can tell that it isn't always the case and it hurts. And now, even though I knew what you tried to do with your act of silence, I ended up falling for your trick." Some would consider him slamming his hands down on the table after his little fit childish, but Gavin began to give up caring what Geoff would think. He drank too much and had worried too much before to deal with it.

"And then I begin to understand why I'm so wrapped up in these thoughts and it scares me because it can't be true. It would just make life too complicated and potentially ruin everything."

He looked over at where Geoff sat, watching as his face remained neutral, just as it had been for most of the conversation. Except of course, just a few minutes ago where even Gavin could admit he made a dumb comment. Really, he was grateful for Geoff just sitting there, not saying much. It made the words easier to come out, even if he felt anxious about talking.

"I mean, as much as I hate how I am upset over this intelligent thing, I am also glad for its distraction. Do you know how it feels to be questioning yourself every day? For something that you never thought should be a big deal until it happens to you?" He grabbed his hair in frustration, closing his eyes.

"Gavin," Geoff said, "you know that you can talk to me about anything. Even if you were scared talking to the other guys about it, you know that I'll always be here for you."

Gavin reluctantly nodded. No matter how much he trusted Geoff, no matter how close of a friend and guardian the man acted toward him, he still found it hard to open his mouth and speak. He was scared of rejection, plain and simple. Everyone knew of it, but they did not understand just how much it consumed Gavin's life. His life became dictated on whether he felt he could handle being rejected by those around him or not. It lead to him being subjected to isolation at times. Though it wasn’t all bad; he liked his time to work on his own anyway.

This rejection would feel different, in more ways than one. Double the amount of rejection as it was a double confession. One lead into the other and neither made him feel comfortable. But, Geoff did not deserve for him to keep silent. Opening his eyes and looking back at the man, Gavin could see just how concerned he was for Gavin. No, it wouldn't be right to keep this all inside. Geoff, he knew this was clichéd and overused by the fans, but Geoff really acted and felt like a father to him, and that deserved something.

"I-" Gavin took a couple deep breaths, trying to keep from getting light headed. He wanted to throw up, and not just because of how much he drank. "I may care about someone I shouldn't."

"Care as in you think Hitler was a pretty cool guy or as in romantically care?" Geoff asked. His words made Gavin smile. Leave it to Geoff to take a serious situation and make a joke out of it, but still pull off a serious, caring tone.

"No, it would be more along the lines of the second one."

"What makes you think you shouldn't care for them? Are they already in a relationship?"

"No."

"Do you think you don't deserve them?" Geoff looked sternly at Gavin. "Because I can tell you right now how wrong that is."

"No, it's not that either," Gavin said. "The person is a guy."

"Ah, I see."

Gavin took a chance and glanced over at Geoff. He didn't seem disgusted or upset, just thoughtful.

"So is he straight? Is that the problem?" Geoff asked.

"Pretty sure he is, but that isn't quite the whole problem." Gavin couldn't figure out how to handle Geoff's response. He just revealed information that not many would respond well to. Geoff had always said that he thought it was a pity that people had to worry about that kind of thing, but Gavin had still worried about his response. He couldn't fully explain why, beyond his constant fear of rejection. Maybe because Geoff was someone he cared about, his fears turned into something irrational and drove his already tired mind over the edge.

In a way, it was a relief to have such a relaxed response. He wanted to talk about it more with Geoff, but he knew there would be no rush to do so. At least now he knew he could talk about it without worry.

"He-" Gavin shook his head. He didn't know if he was quite ready to confess this particular piece of information, both to Geoff and to himself. Luckily for him, Geoff recognized that he wouldn't be getting any more information from Gavin and reassured him that he didn't have to say anything until he felt ready.

Geoff asked Gavin if he wanted to help set up a new Let's Play in Minecraft tonight and Gavin agreed, muttering something about finding a way to win this next one.

.

Life got easier after that. People always spoke of how talking to others made you feel better, but Gavin never experienced that before this. His worry over the different types of intelligence began to recede, but he still often thought about dumb intelligence. This was in a brighter light than before and he began goofing off around others again.

Except now he had to address his feelings. He knew that this would come, and a part of him felt ready to acknowledge it, but it still made his stomach turn, and he could not tell if it was good or bad.

Geoff never spoke of that night to either Gavin or to the rest of the crew, which made Gavin eternally grateful. He did not normally mind being open with people about his life, but this particular piece of information did not need to be shared just yet.

"So Michael, heard you got yourself a date last night?"

Gavin froze, trying not to seem too interested in the conversation.

"If you mean that some drunk dude came over to me and asked me out, then yes."

Well, that was interesting. Gavin wanted to believe it didn't matter to him what Michael's response to the guy was, but it did.

"So did you say yes?" Gavin asked.

Michael raised an eyebrow at Gavin's question. "I told him we could hang out but not to expect anything."

"You shouldn't lead the poor guy on." Gavin frowned. "He'll think you actually want to try a relationship with him."

"He's not a bad looking guy," Michael shrugged. "And I let him know that I'm more into women than men."

And just like that, Michael admits his path is not quite as straight as he lead everyone to believe. For the most part. Gavin wonders at how it is so easy for this guy to do that kind of thing, with no fear for the rejection he could face for it. He had such a boldness to him, so opposite of Gavin, yet so admirable, Gavin realized why he was attracted to the man.

Oh. Damn it, he knew it would happen, but he wanted control over when he allowed himself to fully accept it. He liked Michael and not just in a platonic, friendly way. 

He tried very hard not to show any signs of frustration and was finally blessed with the ability to do so. No one paid him any mind, mostly focusing on this guy Michael is now hanging out with. Gavin refused to pay attention to the conversation.

They played the Minecraft game Gavin and Geoff had made after their talk at the bar. Team Nice Dynamite came together. They didn't win.

.

The guy came by the office at lunch the next day. Gavin watched as he walked into the main office, looking around awkwardly. He made the mistake of making eye contact with the man and he walked over to Gavin.

"Excuse me, but do you know where Michael is?" he asked. "I was supposed to meet up with him here a couple of minutes ago but I got stuck in some traffic."

Gavin took a good look at the man, annoyed at having to admit that he really did look good. Not dressed in a suit, but not in just a t-shirt and jeans. It was almost a hipster look, but even that seemed a little off. He was tall, about six feet, with one of those beards that looked handsome and professional. Gavin never stood a chance.

"I think he is doing some editing right now, let me go check." Gavin turned around quickly and walked to the Let's Play room. Michael sat at his desk, absorbed in his work. His hair finally grown out, but Gavin didn't allow himself the time to think about it.

"Some guy is waiting for you in the lobby, Michael."

Michael looked up from his work with a grin. "So James didn't get lost. Guess he won that bet." He stood up with a sigh, but didn't seem troubled by it. "I guess I'm the one paying for lunch then. Thanks for letting me know, Gavin."

Gavin just nodded and sat down at his desk, watching Michael walk away, calling out a greeting to James.

He had thought about going out to get lunch with some of the guys, but changed his mind. Maybe some editing would keep away the bile rising up in his throat. It would be good for him to be by himself anyway. He felt too angry and upset to socialize.

"Hey Gavin. I guess it's just you and me in here for lunch today."

Gavin resisted the urge to slam his head against his desk. He had to remind himself that Geoff could not have known Gavin's need for isolation. It was a mantra in his head and it kept him from throwing something at him. Maybe Geoff would see how focused on his work Gavin was and not interrupt.

"So I just saw Michael leaving the office with some other guy." Geoff said. "Was that James?"

Gavin really needed to resist tempting fate. Obviously it never worked in his favor.

"Yes it was." He tried really hard not to sound annoyed, but he knew it wouldn't work. Not with Geoff and not with the kind of day he had been having.

"He seems like a nice guy," Geoff said.

"Serial killers can seem like nice guys," Gavin huffed. "It doesn't mean they are."

He half expected Geoff to say something after that, but he remained blissfully silent. Gavin went back to his editing. Unfortunately for him, he was editing the Minecraft Let's Play they did yesterday. It did nothing to help distract him. All he wanted from the day was to have it go by quickly and without too much conversation so that he could go home and sleep. Or maybe even just drink away his worries.

"Gavin, it's just you and me in the office for about an hour. Do you want to talk about what's making you upset?"

"I would like to work in peace," Gavin snapped. "With no one interrupting me to talk. Especially about how I feel."

Geoff did not talk about feelings, so why he insisted Gavin do so made Gavin in an even worse mood. He was tired of exposing himself, but he was also tired of keeping it all in. In the end, he could not hope to win this. Somewhere along the line he would have to do something that he didn't enjoy.

"Michael can say he's bi without a second thought," Gavin said. "I'm happy for him but I also feel frustrated. All this time I've struggled with this and he doesn't even care. And the way he reveals it is by going out with James. It just makes me mad."

"This wouldn't have anything to do with you liking Michael would it?" Geoff asked.

Gavin really wished he could say he was shocked by Geoff's statement, but this was Geoff. He wouldn't be surprised if Geoff admitted to knowing Gavin liked guys. For days, Gavin sits and tries to figure out what is going on in his head and Geoff figures it out without effort. Frustrated beyond belief, he chose to blame this all on the day he had been having.

"Is it obvious to everyone?" Gavin asked.

Geoff shook his head. "I'm sure they wouldn't be surprised, but unlike me, they don't live with you. Or talked to you about certain subjects. I had an idea at the bar, but you confirmed my thoughts with how you've been acting after Michael started talking about James."

"I tried to not think about it," Gavin said. "I got scared when I started to realize how I felt so I tried to find a distraction, but that didn't work. I feel so stupid."

"Are we back to that?" Geoff sounded annoyed. "Listen here Gavin, you can be incredibly dumb at times, it's true, but don't ever think that it is all that you are. You are amazingly talented and what you're going through right now is hard. I wish it wasn't, but people can be terrible, and to someone who is as sensitive to others as you are, that can be horrible to fight through. Having trouble understanding yourself is not dumb. We all go through troubles, but not everyone is as able to express it to others as you are. Trust me, you think you have trouble talking to others, I can honesty tell you it can be ten times harder for others. Struggling doesn't make you dumb and talking or leaning on others does not make you weak."

Gavin was not tearing up. He was in no way emotionally compromised by Geoff's little speech. That would explain why he hugged Geoff, but if anyone asked he would deny it. He didn't want to care about what others thought of him, or how they would react to his actions.

Geoff let him hug for a while before awkwardly patting his shoulder. "Alright buddy, you should let go before someone comes in.

And so he headed back to his desk, still not feeling great, but better. He could at least edit the Let's Play without freaking out.

Everyone began to trickle back into the room. Michael was one of the last ones in, but Gavin decided he didn't care. He already dealt with enough shit during the day, he could wait until tomorrow to deal with more. Luckily for him, they never talked about James.

.

And so a week passed by. Nothing major, besides watching Michael go to lunch with James once in a while. He wouldn't really talk about him, but Gavin never invited the conversation. He debated on telling Michael how he felt, but felt it might just be selfish of him to do so. Michael had no need to know of his feelings, especially while seeing James, and it wasn't as if Gavin was suffering.

Okay, maybe that was a lie. It hurt to see Michael with someone else. People always said that if you truly cared (love, the word was love, but Gavin was not quite ready to think of that) for someone, you would only wish for their happiness, even if it wasn't with you; and yes, Gavin agreed with that, but that never meant it didn't hurt seeing Michael with James. His laughter as he walked out of the office with him, his grins when he comes back, it all pierced at Gavin's heart.

He wanted to believe that he could move on, had to believe it, but hanging around with Michael each day, cracking jokes with him, and just being his best friend made it hard. Gavin had heard of many stories about love before, but having an interest in your best friend, one you see everyday, and having to learn to move past it never sounded terrible. At least you had a friendship to live off of. And it was true, a part of Gavin wasn't too upset because they were best friends and he would always view their friendship as most important, but there was a bit of joy in being able to let go because of disputing feelings instead of it not being reciprocated.

And yet Gavin still loved every minute he got to spend with Michael, any feelings for him he had aside. So each day he played games with Michael, went to get bevs with him, and would even ask him about James. The conversation would end shortly, but Gavin tried and Michael never guessed at why they would end so abruptly, never even noticed.

Geoff tried to be of some comfort to him, often changing the topic if one of the other guys tried to mention James and it made Gavin happy. Geoff was a smart man; he could tell when Gavin began to feel like it was too much. He even stopped making so many jokes about Gavin being dumb. Which he didn't feel like was too big of a problem, but it was the thought that counted.

The one thing Gavin didn't like that Geoff did was constantly try and tell him that he should talk to Michael. He kept explaining how he didn't think he needed to, but Geoff would just give him a look, one that Gavin could clearly read as 'you're being dumb but I'm not going to say anything more because you obviously won't listen.' He had seen that face many times before, but within the past week it had to be a record for the most times done. He briefly wondered if he should be keeping count.

Geoff was always right though. Gavin hated to admit to it because it would mean that he was wrong, but it was true. He did need to talk to Michael. It would be good for him to just let it go, to not constantly feel like he had to hide something from Michael.

So, even though he hated it, he asked Michael if they could go get some drinks at a bar after work. Michael agreed, not as if Gavin thought he wouldn't, and they began to gather their stuff. Ray noticed and asked if they wanted him to come along as their designated driver, but Geoff quickly pulled him away, saying something about an achievement guide. Gavin owed Geoff so much.

They went to the same bar Gavin had gone to with Geoff. It had felt like ages since he had been here, but it felt like an appropriate place.

They slipped into a comfortable silence (okay, not quite comfortable for Gavin) while they began drinking. Gavin looked down at his phone and saw he had an unread message. It was from Geoff, reminding him that since Ray didn't come along, thanks to his brilliance, they would need to find some other way to get home, or else make sure Michael didn't drink too much so that he could drive. Gavin rolled his eyes. Could Geoff get even more protective?

"What are you looking at so annoyed like?" Michael asked.

"Geoff is acting like a worried father." Gavin said.

Michael snorted in response. "You can let him know that I am responsible enough to not drink too much. Need to make sure my boi gets home safely."

Gavin sent a message back to Geoff, asking, not begging, him to leave him alone this evening.

"You know, Geoff seems to be a little more protective of you, know what that is about?"

It took everything Gavin had to think of a good response that didn't have to do with the truth. That was not how he wanted to reveal everything.

"I don't know," Gavin said. "You know Geoff though, he's just weird like that sometimes."

Luckily for him, Michael just shrugged it off.

"So how's James?" Gavin asked. He instantly regretted it. Of course the perfect way to announce your feelings for someone was to talk about their boyfriend.

"Oh he's doing well." Michael said. "He got himself a boyfriend a couple days ago that he was telling me about."

Gavin coughed into his drink. That was new. And Michael just sat there, if Gavin knew any better, he'd say Michael was smirking. "I thought you were dating James."

"We agreed to hang out and discuss the idea of it, but after our first get together we decided against it." Michael almost looked uncomfortable while saying that.

"So, you don't like men?" Gavin asked.

"No, it's not that," Michael said. "We just weren't a good match for each other."

"Oh." There was a pause before Gavin realized something. "Wait, did everyone else know?"

"Everyone who took the time to ask me about it."

Gavin did not know how to respond to this.

"Which actually leads me to the question of why were you so keen on not talking to me about James."

So much for Michael not noticing. "I just didn't want to pry."

"I really hope that excuse sounded as weak to you as it did to me because that has to be one of the dumbest things you have ever said." Michael didn't actually look angry so much as just trying to remain patient.

Gavin thought about coming up with another excuse, but he had come here to talk. It was now or never.

"I may have begun to have feelings for you." Gavin looked down, not daring to see how Michael would react. "And so of course when I finally figure this out, you get a boyfriend, or what I thought to be your boyfriend, and that hurt so I just decided to be an idiot about it like I have with everything and avoid it."

Gavin looked back to Michael, wary of his reaction. Instead of disgust or anger though, Michael smiled.

"Good," he said. "James said you might return my feelings for you, but when I told Geoff, he just told me to wait a bit before telling you."

"That jerk knew?" Gavin frowned. There would be a long conversation with Geoff later. Then he realized just what Michael said. "Wait, he knew that you like me? You like me?"

"Did I not just say that?" Michael asked.

Gavin didn't know how to respond, his mind getting all jumbled.

"And James knew?" 

"Yeah, he assumed as much after we hung out the first time. Something about how I talked about you too much." Michael actually began to blush at that admission.

Gavin thought Michael looked adorable at that, but he stored it away in his mind for later. Right now, he wanted to do something dumb.

So, not caring that they were in a public place, Gavin got out of his chair, walked over to Michael, and kissed him.

He was thrilled when Michael began to kiss him back.

(They decided not to tell anyone at the office. After all, when they greeted each other at work the next day, everyone would have to be pretty dumb not to understand what was going on.)


End file.
